Married in 12

Getting married in 12 days is a pretty exciting place to be in. In less than two weeks, Shannon and I will be pledging our lives to each other. But until then, there's plenty of things to do to bring us to that date!

Until Then
Before the wedding, I've got to pack up and transplant the rest of my stuff (including my computer) into our apartment, finish some work contracts, and finish some projects for church. And somewhere in there comes finishing the wedding preparations, and having one last big Xbox Night with some of the guys (if you want to come, let me know).

Their Questions
One thing I've noticed, is that people always ask Shannon and I one of two questions. Either they ask, "how's the wedding planning?", or "are you nervous?", both of which we find rather strange. As for the wedding planning, we'll be done the wedding arrangements before the day, whether we like it or not. I'm not nervous about marrying Shannon either. If I was nervous, or anxious or unsure, I wouldn't have proposed to her. And if I had any hesitation towards marriage, that would have been long since dealt with during the many months of premarital counseling. So in other words, I'm ready! I'm ready to marry Shannon, and follow the biblical meaning of marriage until death do us part.

Preparing for Marriage

Mark your calendars for June 2nd!

Marriage preparations are falling a little behind: we still need to find a church to get married in. Our home church, Sequoia, is pretty transient, and meets in a highschool gym. So it's not really an option for a Saturday wedding. So if you know of any good venues in Ottawa, let me know!

But really, the most important aspect of getting ready for marriage, is going extremely well. Premarital counseling. I'd advise any couples to go through it once they're engaged. It will help you build that foundation that will hold your marriage together for the years to come.

With the help of our pastor, Rick Lamothe, we're studying Preparing for Marriage: God's Way.

Shannon and I have had our first session, and are already off to a great start. The book covers everything from interests, faith, communication, finances, to love languages, relationships and commitment.

Pastors, pick up a copy of the book, and go through it with every couple who comes to you wanting to be married.

Lord of the Ring

Shannon and I are engaged to be married!

Some of you are thinking "it's about time". But rather, it was only a matter of time.

I proposed last Monday, and since then have been running around sharing the exciting news with our families.

How I proposed:

The ring came in on Monday morning, so I hurriedly got ready and headed out of the house to prepare everything. First I had to swing by Courtney's work (Shannon's roommate) to pick up her house keys.

Racing down to the St-Laurent mall, I got the ring and some other items, and went over to her house. With about 1.5 hours before Shannon got off of work, I cleaned up a bit around the house, and looked after her puppy so she wouldn't have to worry about it when she got home.

When Shannon came home, she was surprised to find me standing there, with a dozen roses in hand. Getting down on one knee, I proposed then and there. And yes, we were both crying (even Shannon).

Over the next hour or two, we prayed for our engagement, and I gave her a long foot-massage with peppermint foot-massage oil.

Next, off to a delicious steak dinner at Montana's.

Then to see Orpheus Theater's Beauty and the Beast.

And ended the evening with a long chat at Tim Hortons over coffee.

It was a perfect romantic evening.

We're both extremely excited and happy with the start of this new stage in life. I'm really looking forward to marrying and spending the rest of my life with such a wonderful and beautiful sweetheart as Shannon.

Please keep us in your prayers as we embark on this marvelous journey of marriage!

The One Ring

Taking Care

It's been a pretty crazy week... starting with a very long, and very lavish Chinese wedding last Saturday. Shannon and I enjoyed the 10-course meal they served, and then took off at 7am the next morning to go pick up her baby puppy just past Toronto.

We got the dog, and embarked on the adventure of taking him home. And what an adventure it was! The trip took far too long, with frequent stops at rest stations to let the puppy relieve himself (and even then, he messed his cage).

But when we got back to Ottawa, Shannon became sick! I went over there on Monday to look after her and her puppy.

She went to work yesterday, but the sickness came back in the evening, and continued throughout today, keeping her at home.

I hope she's feeling better tomorrow! Being sick really sucks. At least she has me to take care of her ;)

Moving Her Here

So, I'm in Chatham right now, helping my gal pack up the rest of her stuff, load it into a truck, and move it on down to Ottawa! She's already found herself a great job, a great apartment, and a great roommate... she's all set.

It will be really great having her live so close too. I'll no longer have to travel for 9 hours just to see my sweetheart! It's definitely a huge step in our relationship, and it allows us to get to know each other on a more regular and realistic level. I'm looking forward to building our relationship even further.

One Wonderful Week(ish)

Wow that was quite a busy week. I was rushing to master the TV series, and get my proposals done for a contract I'm working on. But through all that, I managed to spend a whole bunch of time with Shannon, who was in town visiting.

It was a very productive week for her too! She secured a new job, and a second one, and an apartment, and a roommate.

Not to mention we had a fantastic weekend together. Full of romance, excitement, praising God, and spending time with friends and family. We even took off to Niagara Falls with the family.

It's going to be great having her living here in Ottawa! She's a wonderful sweetheart, with a great passion for Jesus, and I love every moment I spend with her.

When Love Comes to Town

Less than a day from now, my sweetheart, Shannon, is coming to town!

She's here on vacation for over a week. Not only that, but she'll be attending an interview, and looking for an apartment here in town. Please pray that these details will work out. With God's help, they always will.

God has really blessed our relationship so much. I'm looking forward to spending time with her. Getting to know her better, and experiencing life together.

Of course, sometimes we have our challenges; we are different people. But we share our values, faith, and love... and those have always helped us to grow stronger in our relationship.

Those of you who have known me for any length of time, know that I'm serious about leading a God-glorifying relationship with Shannon. Lately I've been reading an interesting book on the matter: "Boundaries in Dating".

hmm, I could write a whole blog on dating and relationships *lol* complete with numerous book recommendations.

God Provides

Wow, God is aware of your needs, and if you have faith in Him, He will never fail to provide. Matthew 6:25-34.

For years, Shannon has had to move around because of school... and each and every time, she's trusted God to help her find an apartment, or a new church, or a job... and God has always provided.

And yesterday afternoon... Jesus did it again. Shannon received an amazing job offer, far above the dreams and expectations we've been praying for. When Jesus provides... HE PROVIDES. With Style. There can be no mistake that something this amazing came from any other source than God.

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7

Communication

Good communication can build a relationship, and bad communication can destroy it. It's a powerful tool, and it's important to be able to communicate effectively. Whatever your message is, if you can't make it known, then it's futile. We live in "the communication age" right? But with all of this technology and innovations, it still comes down to dealing with people.

Text seems to be an increasingly common means of relating important messages, but it leaves a lot to be desired. Great writers and poets have been using this for years, but as interesting as that is, it's relationships that require communication the most. It's so difficult to convey proper meaning through text mediums, such as chatting on the internet. You have to be very careful of your wording, so that your audience will interpret your words to the meaning you intended.

Being understanding and open-hearted is key. You should give the benefit of the doubt, and never automatically assume that your friend or loved one intends to hurt you. But at the same time, be fully open and honest with each other. Trust. If you can keep that up, I guarantee that things will go well. I know from experience.

Ideally, there is more than text. Tone of voice is another essential tool in conveying your thoughts. The emotional inflections and implied meanings will surely help. Talk in person, use the phone, VoIP, whatever.

Then of course, body language. Whether it's gestures, or a great big hug, nothing sends meaning and intent like an action. A smile does wonders to warm the heart. Webcams are nice, but meet in person! A handshake with a business partner develops trust and familiarity. Or in a different situation, there would be no way to pull off a long-distance relationship you didn't meet on a regular basis. There's nothing better than holding a loved one, expressing your feelings, and sharing your dreams, fears, hopes, and desires.

Back in Town

It's been a couple of weeks, but I'm more or less back in town. (less, until Sunday)

The family started off with a trip down to Florida for a business conference, and then spent the next week traveling around. It was pretty cold, so we unfortunately didn't get much time at the beach. We did go by Gettysburg though, and saw some cool old Civil War stuff.

Then as soon as we got back, I took off for a 9-hour train ride to spent Easter weekend with my girlfriend. It was a loooong ride, but Shannon's more than worth it. I would go a whole lot further than that to see her.

We had a fantastic weekend together, and I even survived meeting her parents!

Over the last couple of days, we went through a pretty interesting time together. It was a little confusing, and some tears were shed, but we ended up redefining our boundaries in the relationship for a more God-pleasing romance. Some of it were things like making sure we have a little time apart each day to spend reading our bibles and praying, even if we've traveled great distances to be together. She'll probably be formally writing about it.

In the end, we've come out stronger than ever... in a deep romance that Jesus is blessing more than we could have imagined.

Counsel Together

When I look closely, I find that many of the wisest and most inspiring counselors I know of, work very closely with their wives. Knowing how to counsel people on your own is great as it is... but think of doing it as a couple. You have twice as much knowledge and wisdom to draw from, and two totally different outlooks on the subject that your counseling on. And most importantly, a good couple often knows what each other are thinking, or where they're headed with their advice.

Just take a look at some of these christian counselors that I've learned from in life. (I only know a few of them personally)

John & Stasi Eldredge... wrote Wild at Heart, and Captivating, and are a constant source of insight and encouragement to many many people.

Dr. James & Mrs. Shirley Dobson... founded and lead the Focus on the Family organization, which has done fantastic things to promote healthy families.

Bill & Creely Wilson... founded Brentwood Baptist Church, now thousands strong, and an active and vibrant church community.

David & Norma-Jean Mainse... founded CTS TV and 100 Huntley Street.

Dr George & Marian Bryniawsky... have been close friends and mentors to my family for years.

Rick & Donna Lamothe... pastor and founders of Sequoia Community Church, and close friends of the family.

It really looks like the greatest and most influencial and life-changing couples work together as a team. And when seeing that, I am so amazingly thrilled at the prospect of changing peoples lives with the help of Shannon. She is already very wise, a strong christian, and a great counselor, and we recently had a chance to counsel someone as a team... to amazing results.

Crossing the Distance

Bridging the gap in a long-distance relationship is always difficult thing. Chances are, you probably only get to see your girlfriend once a month... so what do you do in the meantime?

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder" is a load of crap. But thanks to modern technology, there's many ways for you to interact with your significant other... even though you may be miles apart.

The key to success in any relationship is communication. So be sure to make lots of use telephones, email, and instant messaging. The tech-savvy are one-up in this area. Try chatting with a webcam, which allows you to see the person directly. Even use of VoIP can save you a whole lot of money on phone calls in the long run. Perhaps even write a blog together?

Or for the truly insane, there's a plethora of new products out there (most of which are totally creepy, unless that's your thing).

• Cups that alert you when your partner is drinking from their own.
• Pillows that light up with instant messages.
• Shirts that create pressure and warmth when the other one is hugged.
• Robotic pillows that will allow you to actually hug each other (reallllly creepy)
  

Traveling is the only true way to cross the distance. So get on those trains, plains, and automobiles, and get over there to see her first-hand. Shop around on the web to find the best prices.

Maintaining a long-distance relationship is entirely possible. With enough devotion, determination, faith, and a long-term plan to permanently bridge the distance, you are bound successful.

Growing Relationship

Getting into a romantic relationship can be a scary prospect for some people. There is a lot of responsibility and vulnerability involved as you venture deeper into each others lives.

Strive.

Men, we need to set the example as the spiritual leader in our families and relationships. It is our duty to ensure that our wife/girlfriend/children grow strong in faith and wisdom.

Here's a couple of ideas to get you started:

• Pray together
  
• Read the bible together
• Do devotionals together
• Share thoughts, inspirations, and revelations
• Blog/journal together

A relationship that's centered on Jesus is truly a wonderful thing. It will really draw you closer together, and prepare you for the life ahead of you.

And trust me, a great woman will love you all the more for it.

Worship Dilemma

I went into church today, thinking that I wanted to do a really great soundmix of the band to impress a girl.

But then God really hit me...
I just needed to do what I was supposed to do, and worship God. Worship him with the talents and gifts He's given me. Then I realized that the girl isn't going to be attracted by a rockin' mix... she's going to be far more excited with my heart for Jesus, and my willingness to use my gifts for Him.

And you know what? Once I gave in, and focused on just worshiping Jesus, we actually ended up with the best sound mix the church band has ever had!

(except I still don't know whether the girl was impressed or not *lol*)

Why I Can't Get a Date

Ah yes, well according to a recent internet test I've taken, I cannot find a girlfriend, because I am known as the "Male Best Friend". This discovery is amusing, not unexpected, and quite telling.

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Have You Dreamt?

Have you ever dreamt of a girl so real and so perfect, that you are driven to take up drawing, just so you could capture a small glimpse of her?

I have, and it was just that. A dream. Literally.

Remembering a dream is rare enough, but to remember every little detail? Never. Yet that is exactly where I am left, with details of this bizarre and wondrous dream sequence.

I'm too realistic to go on chasing my imagination, but I tell you this: If by some means this dream woman materializes today, then I will not hesitate to introduce myself.

Call to be a Gentleman

Being a gentleman is just as revelant today as it was in the medieval ages.

The medieval ideal taught humility and forbearance to the great warrior because everyone knew by experience how much he usually needed that lesson. It demanded valour of the urbane and modest man because everyone knew that he was as likely as not to be a milksop. - C.S. Lewis, The Necessity of Chivalry

Look at the rise of books such as Wild at Heart, and The Barbarian Way. They call on us to recapture our hearts, to raise our courage, and to be the gentlemen we were created to be. Great movies like Braveheart and The Patriot stir hidden longings inside of us men.

Stand up for life and what's right. Fight for your loved ones.

Or even just open the door for girls. Walk them to their door when you drop them off at home. Not just the women you like, but all of them. Small examples of gentlemanly strength are hard to find today.

Take this example from Sir Thomas Malory's, Le Morte Darthur:

"Thou wert the meekest man", says Sir Ector to the dead Launcelot. "Thou were the meekest man that ever ate in hall among ladies; and thou were the sternest knight to thy mortal foe that ever put spear in the rest."

Defend Marriage

We are steadily approaching another fall in the values of this country.

Defend Marriage as it was designed to be!

We talked to a PM today, and were told that Paul Martin plans to settle the gay marriage vote by Monday Night.

We cannot let a mere 300-plus people decide the future of civilization in Canada. Especially since the Gomery Inquiry has broken loose, we know that about half of those PM's are untrustworthy and immoral to begin with.

Now, more than ever, we urgently need to talk to our PM's, and explain to them the foundations of marriage that this country has been built on.