Friday, February 17, 2006

Living Together

Over the last 30 years, the percentage of people living together before marriage in North America has grown over 1000%. Why is this? And why is this ruining marriages in our country?

Focus on the Family had some interesting broadcasts on the issue, with all sorts of statistics. Here's an example of just a few reasons why you shouldn't live together before marriage.

  • Women are 6 times more likely to be assaulted.
  • Men are 4 times more likely to cheat on their wife.
  • Women are 8 times more likely to cheat on their husband.
  • Divorce rate is 75%
  • 2 out of 5 couples live together before marriage
  • 62% of parents promote it
  • much more likely to develop drug or alcohol adictions
  • upon pregnancy, most men will leave within 2 years
  • relationship often does not end up leading to marriage
So why do so many people thing they need to live together before marriage? There is an idea that they should "test drive" a relationship before fully committing. They feel like they need to test the compatibility of their personalities and sexual abilities. There are financial benefits, and even their parents support it. They also say that they're "in love" and "will get married eventually".

What's the truth? In reality, out of 8 couples that live together before marriage, 4 will break up, and 4 will get married. Of the 4 married couples, 3 will divorce, and the final one will harbor all sorts of emotional issues. Marriage is based on commitment, yet living together beforehand is conditional and performance-based. There is no standard of trust or commitment. It's funny, but the highest sexual satisfaction is amongst couples who were not sexually active before marriage.

What do you do now? Seperate immediately! And examine what your relationship is really based on. If you're a christian, ask how important is your relationship with God? Since God does not approve of the situation (John 4). I urge you to build a God-pleasing relationship, and save physical intimacy for after marriage.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmm...very thought provoking. And you can't argue with cold hard facts. I agree with the living together before getting married thing 100%.

But what if you have become intimate before marriage? You obviously can't take that back. So do you break up with the person because you've been intimate, but yet love them very much?

Shannon said...

Comment about the last comment.... (and mostly just my opinion ;o)
In that kind of situation, i'd think the best thing to do would be to stop being intimate with that person until you decide whether you want a lifetime COMMITMENT to them... meaning, of course, marriage. If you love someone that much, you'll be willing to show them that respect.
I think "separate immediately" mostly implies don't live together or sleep together... not to completely stop seeing the person altogether.
Just know yourself and know the other person - and God's will for your life - before you jump into a deeper relationship with someone you aren't compatible with on any more than a sexual basis.